Saturday, July 30, 2011

Serious Swimming Through Barakah :)

I don't usually do this. Sit by an open window eating a bowl of strawberries that is. But the weather makes it tempting and the situation is thus, that I find I don't know what to do with myself for a little while. It's the static state that arises post some serious swimming through barakah. Yes, the reason is quite clear.

I've looked at my brothers collection of books since returning. Too afraid to pick up a few, for fear of the fortune they contain. I don't think my purse is big enough to hold such big balances. Others I pick up and skim through. And a few are chosen and kept in the selected 'Ramadhan pile', quick before the nafs which loves laziness and the remaining shayateen catch up with me!

But the feeling still lingers. The yearning for something, the feeling that something is missing. There are many things I am missing. And will be missing.

I will miss sitting on the floor and writing on the selected green floor table. Sharing treats and jokes and revision with the sisters before the teachers and swarm of brothers come into the classroom.

I will miss hearing the adhaan recited live in a melodious tone. Sharing in the repetition and the dua. The post salah group adhkaar, with souls who have experienced and souls who are fresh in the sea of bliss.

I will miss sharing salams and smiles with sisters, eyes glistening because we know something which to others may still be a mystery. There's something special about sharing the experience of learning Sacred Knowledge with someone, I feel. They heard my most puzzled questions to the teacher. I heard theirs. Together we were placed in a zone of knowledge and barakah.

I will miss being able to ask whatever was on my mind and have the question, big or small, coherant or confusing be answered by some great shuyukh of our time. I know that the answers will, so long as Allah grants my memory protection, stay with me.

I will miss running at 5am in the morning to get to a tajweed class, alhamdulilah I now know trainers and khimar work well for a work out.

I will miss seeing so many others as passionate about the daff as I am. I can't help but smile to myself at people who hold the same love for something as I do.

But most of all I guess, I will miss the peace. And miss the barakah in the time. And miss knowing that angels were present.

And I will miss phoning my family and telling them about how glorious my day was and what I had learnt. For now its no longer about telling them what I learnt, but acting on what I learnt, and that is the real test- the application of knowledge 'learnt'.

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